Well, back to it.
Week 3 sucked noodles and the accompanying TV Guide for that week — Miami Vice — will be banished to the nether along with the other losing TV Guide — Happy Days. Both now have bad juju. This week honors the best thing the University of Colorado — Boulder produced in the hopes that Ohio State beats Colorado like they were an intramural squad, brother.
Ohio State has an afternoon kickoff on ABC/ESPN2. The idea is that Ohio State should rebound and win somewhat comfortably over a Colorado squad that had bleak preseason predictions. With that in mind, this feature will list other games of interest for the college football fan as it usually does.
So, what’s on?
- North Carolina State @ Cincitucky (ESPN, 8:00pm ET). This is the return leg of a home-and-home that saw a fairly uninteresting Wolfpack squad (with this year’s captain of the Wisconsin Badgers) beat the Bearcats convincingly. This year is a bit different. Besides losing their starting quarterback to free agency, the Wolfpack don’t look as good this season overall and Cincinnati, an embarrassment last year, looks so much better. They will be hosting this game in scenic, majestic Nippert Stadium because its 35,000 seats and sublime pageantry totally makes Cincitucky a candidate for another BCS school when the Big East dies. It does for really reals.
- Central Florida @ Brigham Young (ESPN, 8:00pm ET). Brigham Young started the season on the road at Ole Miss, at Texas and at home to Utah. Now, they host Central Florida, the reigning Conference USA champions and that one school that will probably be screamed by the Big East with its dying breath. I’m digging BYU’s independence. Their schedule looks like something I would devise when I would play EA Sports’ NCAA Football 06 way back in the day. Look for this week’s Family Home Evening on how stupid turnovers make Heavenly Father cry to have made the difference for the 1-2 Cougars.
- San Diego State @ That Team Up North (BTN, 12:00pm ET). Yikes. Awkward. Look for Kyle Turley to continue playing the role of the jilted ex-girlfriend. He told Brady Hoke he can go f*ck himself when he left for Ann Arbor and, well, he’s not finished. I always thought he was a bit of a douche when he was in the NFL, but I might like this guy after all.
- North Carolina @ Georgia Tech (ESPN, 12:00pm ET). Georgia Tech obliterated Kansas last week to the tune of 768 yards and 604 rushing yards. Mind you, that was against a Kansas defense too stupid to do anything other than follow the pitch man in Paul Johnson’s flexbone triple option offense. They get the Tar Heels to open ACC play. Winner of this game will be in prime position to challenge Va Tech for supremacy in the whatchadealie division in the ACC.
- Central Michigan @ Michigan State (ESPNU, 12:00pm ET). Michigan State schedules Central Michigan; will actually try to beat them this time. Next up for Sparty: THE Ohio State University.
- Eastern Michigan @ Penn Shtate (ESPN2, 12:00pm ET). I’m not sure what Eastern Michigan’s deal is. They opened with two games against 1-AA teams and now are taking two paycheck games back to back (TTUN, Penn Shtate). A Penn Shtate win should put them neck-and-neck with Ohio State for the Mid-American Conference championship.
- Notre Dame @ Pittsburgh (ABC, 12:00pm ET). That these two teams aren’t being coached by Charlie Weis and Dave Wannstedt respectively is an affront to all that is decent and everyone involved should feel bad.
- Georgia @ Ole Miss (ESPN3.com, 12:21pm ET). This will be your usual “SEC Network” noon time game and, obviously, your clear front runner for CRIPPLE FIGHT!!! of the week.
- ArKansas @ Alabama (CBS, 3:30pm ET). The Rammer Jammers kick off SEC play in the usual fashion with the Razorbacks. This will be on CBS, with your ol’ pals Uncle Verne and Gary Danielson. Drink every time Gary Danielson creepily refers to Nick Saban as “Nick”, as if Saban was a long time friend of Danielson and was totally not being stalked by Danielson in flagrant violation of the court-appointed restraining order. God I hate Danielson when he does that.
- South Dakota @ Wisconsin (BTN, 3:30pm ET). Well don’t exert yourself too much there, Badgers. We wouldn’t want you exhausted from your brutal non-conference schedule by time you inaugurate the Huskers into the B1G TEN next week.
- Oklahoma State @ Texas A&M (ABC/ESPN2, 3:30pm ET). This might be the game of the week, but you’re not watching this.
- Florida State @ Clemson (ESPN, 3:30pm ET). This is another good game (by ACC standards) that you will not be watching.
- Western Michigan @ Illinois (BTN, 3:30pm ET). Good Lord the B1G TEN schedule this week sucks. Ohio State might have the most interesting game on the schedule for the week and it’s against Colorado.
- Colorado @ Ohio State (ABC/ESPN2, 3:30pm ET). Speaking of which, this is what you’re watching at this time. This is also what you’re watching on mute, since Craig James will be on color commentary.
- UCLA @ Oregon State (Regional, 3:30pm ET). Rick Neuheisel can’t be the only one that cares that Oregon State — who lost to Sacramento State and was blanked by Wisconsin — is actually favored in this game.
- Kansas State @ Miami [FL] (ESPNU, 3:30pm ET). *grumblegrumblegrumble*
- Vanderbilt @ South Carolina (ESPN2, 7:00pm ET). Vanderbilt is 3-0 under a first year head coach for the first time since World War II. It nearly shutout Ole Miss last week, which would’ve been the first SEC shutout by Vanderbilt since 1946. There’s some momentum entering Columbia, against a Gamecocks’ defense that was called out by Navy for being “nothing special”.
- Florida @ Kentucky (ESPN, 7:00pm ET). A whole lot of nothing interesting going on in SEC play beyond the Alabama-ArKansas game. LSU-WVU should be interesting, but that’s a non-conference contest.
- Indiana @ North Texas (ESPN3.com, 7:00pm ET). Speaking of nothing interesting going on, this is probably your second most intriguing B1G TEN game of the week behind Ohio State-Colorado. Its that kind of week in the B1G.
- Nebrasky @ Wyoming (Versus, 7:30pm ET). ”At” Wyoming? Oh you fancy, Nebrasky…
- Missouri @ Oklahoma (FX, 8:00pm ET). Oklahoma returns home after a stirring victory last week against ACC front runners Florida State. They host the same Missouri team that knocked them from #1 last year in Columbia. Mind you, this is the same Missouri team this year that iced its own kicker, twice, against Arizona State because Gary Pinkel believed thaYOU ICED YOUR OWN DAMN KICKER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
- Louisiana State @ West Virginia (ABC, 8:00pm ET). Dana Holgorsen v. Les Miles. I’m not sure it needs more hype than that. Holgorsen gets pub for the offense, but defensive coordinator Jeff Casteel coaches the 3-3-5 better than anyone in college football. West Virginia will be playing for all of the couches in Morgantown.
- Oregon @ Arizona (ESPN2, 10:15pm ET). Game 3 in Arizona’s murderer’s row is Oregon, the two-time defending Pac-[Integer] champions. Arizona lost the last two contests in this treacherous month, at Oklahoma State and at home to Stanford respectively. Next up: at USC. Yikes.
- USC @ Arizona State (ESPN, 10:15pm ET). I’m out of snark. It’s here if you want it.