The Big Ten does not play night games in November by design, so this game, along with the Nerdwestern-Illinois gimmick at Wrigley Field, is your prime time Big Ten game. There will be others this week for your consideration. In what follows, I provide the usual viewing schedule for you, so you can fit in a few more games into your plans beyond the important showdown in Iowa City.
And yes, I’m aware that George Reeves has only a tenuous connection to the Hawkeye State. But, did you know that this TV Guide cover was one of the very first for the TV Guide enterprise, which first started with Davenport, Iowa as one of the first “metropolitan” areas to receive TV Guides? It’s true.
Besides, when Iowa’s greatest cultural exports include Tom Arnold and Ashton Kutcher, you’re gonna have to reach here…
- Ohio @ Temple (ESPN2, 8:00pm ET). I did not watch this. I watched shooty hoops instead. I was rewarded for my choice. (Recap)
- Miami (OH) @ Akron (ESPNU, 6:00pm ET). With the MAC season concluding, Miami of Ohio needs Ohio University — who won Tuesday — to lose next week while Miami wins out. This game is ongoing as I type, and I’m not particularly interested in the result. Yes, the Redhawks could be MAC Championship Game-bound and, yes, they are coached by Charlie Weis’ former offensive coordinator who won one game for them last year. Coincidentally, Akron is coached by his replacement at Notre Dame: Rob Ianello. The schematic advantaging in this game is just, genius.
- Bowling Green @ Toledo (ESPN2, 8:00pm ET). What is this, MAC Week? Let’s grow up, people.
- Georgia State @ Alabama (ESPNU, 7:30pm ET). For those of you that know, I do happen to live in Tuscaloosa. Here’s the backdrop on this game. The university canceled classes, calling it a “university holiday”. Faculty and staff members were ordered not to show up for work, or for anything on their campus. Why? Because Georgia motherfucking State is coming to town and shit gets real crazy when their hated nemesis from urban Atlanta (That Research University Out East, as it is called) comes to town. Alabama, the defending national champions, also kinda need the exposure, so they’re playing on Thursday now1.
- UCLA @ Washington (ESPN, 8:00pm ET). UCLA and Washington are the last place teams in the Pac 10 that aren’t coached by the rotting corpse of Dennis Erickson or is Washington State. UCLA treats pistol as a gimmick to get more rushing yards. Washington’s QB is Jake Locker, who has a restraining order against Todd McShay. Locker will return to action after sitting out a few games with a concussion. Winner: Washington. Also a winner: Todd McShay, who gets more wank material for his collection.
- Air Force @ UNLV (CBS College Sports?, 10:00pm ET). If there’s an interesting Mountain West game available, odds are I don’t know what channel it’s on. I hate that.
- Fresno State @ Boise State (ESPN2, 9:30pm ET). Keep on trucking, Boise…
- Wisconsin @ Michigan (ESPN, 12:00pm ET). Ohio State fans would probably like Wisconsin to lose at least once in order for their BCS fate to be more certain. To be sure, Wisconsin goes to Pasadena even if Ohio State wins out. Wisconsin’s last two games are against Michigan’s idiotic defense and the Dan Persa-less Nerdwestern Wildcats. Wisconsin last won in Ann Arbor in 1994. Before then: 1962. Don’t hold out hope for an upset. That said, Michigan’s James Rogers may have just thrown down the gauntlet, guaranteeing that Wisconsin will not score 83 points on them. Not sure if he’s seen his defense, but he’s in no position to make that challenge to the Badgers.
- Oklahoma State @ Kansas (ESPN3.com, 12:00pm ET). Oh sweet Jesus. This will get ugly.
- Purdue @ Michigan State (Big Ten Network, 12:00pm ET). Sparty… no? Please?
- Pittsburgh @ South Florida (ESPN2, 12:00pm ET). A loss for South Florida eliminates them from the Big East championship. A win for Pittsburgh gets the Fightin’ Wannies, who lead the Big East by a full game, finally bowl eligible at 6-4… in Week 12.
- Penn State vs. Indiana [@ FedEx Field] (Big Ten Network, 12:00pm ET). This was a home game for Indiana, until they moved it to FedEx Field. So, this amounts to a formal Indiana home game that’s 11 hours from Bloomington and 4 hours from Happy Valley. Indiana representatives say this will be a particular treat to IU alumni in the DC area, because they apparently do not have IU alumni in the Bloomington area. I should hope this doesn’t happen again.
- Virginia @ Boston College (ESPNU, 12:00pm ET). Why are Boston College and Virginia playing against each other? If they joined forces and merged rosters, they might actually have an 8-4 team.
- Troy @ South Carolina (ESPN3.com, 12:21pm ET). SEC Grind, see Georgia State-Alabama.
- Appalachian State @ Florida (ESPN3.com, 12:30pm ET). I’ll go ahead and say what everyone else is thinking. Appalachian State: if you beat Florida, I can guaran-damn-tee you that Ohio State fans will give you whatever you want. Keys to the city? Done. A 150ft gold statue of your coach in Franklin County? Done. Our cheerleaders? Yours. Just give us your demands so that we may worship you forever.
- Ole Miss @ LSU (CBS, 3:30pm ET). LSU is playing for the Sugar Bowl. Auburn’s victory means they’re shut out from the title game in Atlanta. Ole Miss is fresh off being heel-stomped by the winless-in-conference Tennessee Volunteers. LSU probably has the best defense in the country, from what I’ve seen at least. Still, their middle school Crow-fense will keep anyone in the game, including Park Ranger Masoli and the Able Ackbars.
- Stanford @ California (Regional, 3:30pm ET). The band is out on the field!! Well, I expect they will be, probably just celebrating a Stanford victory… and likely desecrating anything and everything in sight in true Stanford band fashion.
- Ohio State @ Iowa (ABC, 3:30pm ET). The main attraction. More on this later.
- Virginia Tech @ Miami (FL) (ABC, 3:30pm ET). So… our main non-conference victory against Boise’s. Virginia Tech clinches its division with a win. Miami still needs some help.
- Illinois @ Nerdwestern [in Wrigley Field] (ESPNU, 3:30pm ET). It’s a shame this game is played simultaneously with the Ohio State game. I’d like to see how many go routes are run against the end zone against the right field wall. This will get Gameday because Gameday has no other place to go and, really, it’s a neat gimmick… if a gimmick.
- ArKansas @ Mississippi State (ESPN, 7:00pm ET). Winner secures 4th place in the SEC… West.
- Army vs. Notre Dame [@ Yankee Stadium] (NBC, 7:00pm ET). The second game of the day played in a Major League Baseball field. And yes, I’m actually interested in this one. The quality of football isn’t good… at all… but the Army-Notre Dame series is a neat historical artifact of college football’s formative years. Plus, college football needs a return to New York City even if this stadium, like Wrigley Field, is a tight fit.
- Connecticut @ Syracuse (ESPNU, 7:00pm ET). A Syracuse win keeps them alive in the Big East race, though the ‘Cuse needs Pitt to lose out. Keep hope alive!
- Nebraska @ Texas A&M (ABC, 8:00pm ET). A Nebraska win secures them an appearance in the Big XII Championship Game in their final season in the conference. A Texas A&M win does us more good, as it clears Nebraska out of the way in the BCS. A&M has the win over Oklahoma, but needs two more Oklahoma State losses to get to the Big XII Championship Game.
- Oklahoma @ Baylor (ESPN2, 8:00pm ET). Baylor has the victory over Texas, but one over Oklahoma would be tough. Total number of victories over Oklahoma: zero. All time.
- Florida State @ Maryland (ABC, 8:00pm ET). Florida State goes to the ACC Championship Game with a win. If they lose? Then Maryland, yes Maryland, may be ACC Championship Game-bound in that same division. Maryland has one more ACC game after this. Florida State takes on SEC rival Florida next week.
- USC @ Oregon State (ABC, 8:00pm ET). USC on probation vs. the team that lost to Texas Christian, Boise State and Washington State. Who invited you two to television?
- Also, the Iron Bowl, to be played next week, is usually played on Friday and will be this year. Alabama, unhappy that their last six SEC opponents will play them after bye weeks, organized to move this game up a few days and canceled classes. [↩]