Our Honor Defend

This is obviously a few weeks late, but, in my defense, I’m busy.  Fortunately, long time reader El Caballo offered a contribution to the Block O Table project that I have at this blog.  The theme of the post was to better know a Buckeye fan.  We sometimes butt heads during conversation about what’s wrong with the football team, who should be playing and the like.  Some readers may not know the intricaces of the game, and often sit on the proverbial sidelines while fans argue.  However, we all have Buckeye experiences that we can all discuss and share.  Some of these can be quite fascinating, and I’m glad El Caballo took the time to share his thoughts and offer his questions.  I’ll try to recap these below, doing what justice I can to the thoughts you all shared.  Given the enormity of responses from all of you, I may not be able to remember and cognize every single detail.  I apologize in advance.

Bloggers: The Silver Bullet, Team Secret Falcon

Commenters: Ron, bup bup bup, Ed, Ken, Todd (of the not Boeckman variety), Vico (that’s me!), The Wonder Horse, chibucks

Question the First: Why are you a Buckeye?

Most of you were under the “lifelong fans” category, but El Caballo asked you to elabore it more.  The benefit of making you hash it out has provided for some cool back stories for Buckeye fandom.  For Ron, it wasn’t a case of being a “lifelong fan”, per se, but rather having a brother with him in Cleveland’s projects who was obsessed about it.  When he eventually came to The Ohio State University after military duty, it was simply a matter of recognizing the greatness of Woody’s 70s legends and taking that experience with him to Southern California.  El Caballo, who volunteered the questions, took in Buckeye fandom when his father was a professor at The Ohio State University.  It became stronger when he was no longer attached to the campus.  Ed has bloodlines that made his Buckeye identification a given.  Ken growing up in Gnadenhutten made his fandom a given as well.  Todd goes one step further, mentioning the female figures in his life who all but imposed the Buckeyes on him.  Chibucks was born to Buckeye graduate students, making his connection to Ohio State essentially biological.  Team Secret Falcon is a local boy, and being a Buckeye in Central Ohio is always a good decision.

Not all of us are lifelong fans, though.  Bup to the third power only became a Buckeye fan in earnest sometime in middle school.  I myself only became a Buckeye when I decided to enroll there.  It’s become stronger the more I’m removed from that wonderful experience. The Wonder Horse became a Buckeye when she realized the impact of the football team on her brother and father, both Buckeyes.  Drew, who blogs at The Silver Bullet, is not a “lifelong fan” either.  Currently a respected blogger of Buckeye athletics, his Buckeye moment came in 1993 after watching Joey Galloway burn the Hoosiers.  The family connections to Ohio were present, but the Buckeye identification — like for me — was a choice.

The responses here were all great.  Some of the back stories for the lifelong fans — specifically Ron, El Caballo and Todd of the not Boeckman variety — were outright fascinating.  But highlighting just those stories out doesn’t do justice to everyone’s responses and how the school and football team have followed us either throughout our lives, or define us now.  Being a Buckeye means to be passionate — borderline obsessive — about amateur football at the flagship institution of higher learning in the Great(est) State of Ohio.  The stories may vary considerably.  Some of us came on board later than others, but the passion does not vary.

#2: What do you do when you meet a “hater”?

I think we’re all kind of annoyed that it’s become so vogue to hate on the Buckeyes.  It might be the contemporary college football equivalent of the baggy jeans or spiked hair fads of the late 1990s/early 2000s.  Yeah, we know it looks ridiculous.  Yeah, we know it’s silly.  But everyone else is doing it, and everyone else just seems so… cool, and awesome.

Ron goes out of his way to not talk with people about it.  So do I.  While I’m nonconfrontational about most things by nature, guys like Ron have identified some people as incurably stupid and won’t waste their time.  Still, guys like Ron and Ken have a similar observation: it’s not hatred, per se.  It’s just a garden variety lunacy directed at something we hold dear.  True hatred has a passion.  The hatred guys like Ron and Ken observe involves more mouthbreathing and dribbling on to the shirts than it does involve a deeply rooted antipathy.

I noticed that most everyone involved has noticed a trend: the hateration of the University of the American Dream is strongest among fans of programs that just aren’t any good.  Yeah, it becomes a little condescending to say that they hate us more than they value their own program on that regard, but it seems to be true.  Bup^3 made this point regarding his encounters with Tennessee fans.  Ed brings up the Miami Hurricane fans.  They hate us a lot because the pass interference penalty against them was miscalled interference when it was actually holding, and still a valid penalty.  More specifically, they really hate us once it became apparent that Larry Coker did more damage to that program than our national title at their expense ever could.  Drew brings this point up more explicitly, noting that the standardized response to the hateration is to identify the hater, find out what crappy team he/she’s rooting for, and expose that choice as tragically flawed on logical grounds.  The Wonder Horse mentions that hatred of Buckeye football in South Carolina (pronounced: Kurrolina) is strong where demonstrated football prowess in Columbia and Clemson is sorely lacking.  I think Morgan (@ Team Secret Falcon) and El Caballo offered identical responses on this same point.

It just may be my observations, but I think I deal with more haters than anyone else who offered their comments.  The Wonder Horse may be second, though.  As El Caballo said, what else can I do?  What else is there to say? Ohio State has been very generous to the Crimson Tide (78 Sugar Bowl, 86 Kickoff Classic and 95 Citrus Bowl).  We’ve been overly generous to every other SEC program we’ve played as well.  What could I possibly add on top of that?

That said, I have not met a Florida Gators fan down here that I didn’t want to take into the nearest dark alley and beat them blind with a tire iron.  My God they’ve become insufferable and I am still really scarred by that game that I will not further discuss.  They’re everywhere too.

#3: Is it possible to hate Michigan rationally?

Ron was the unquestioned winner of this question, and not else needed to be added on top of his response.  It is, well… it is.  And it’s the truth.

Bupx3 (to a small extent) and Morgan, while expressing their support of enmity in the rival sense, offered glowing remarks for the University of Michigan as a university and for the Wolvereenies as a historical football powerhouse.  Chibucks also seemed a little supportive of the university here too.   Yeah, the University of Michigan is a research juggernaut.  It doesn’t mean I have to like it.  In fact, that makes weirdos like me want to hate them even more.  Hell, why not?  I embrace bupx3′s quote on the matter.

Ken also mentioned the interest in seeing them perform well, only to be dashed on the third Saturday in November.  Drew brought this up as well.  It’s fun to kick them when they’re down, but the rivalry became a national phenomenon in earnest when it became the Ten Year War in the 1970s.  That Ten Year War between Woody/Bruce and Schembechler might be the most fascinating stretch of football ever played in the history of the sport.

If you really want to be a Buckeye, you’d have to really hate the Wolverines… … A lot¹.  Everyone here does because they’re all good Buckeyes.  The Wonder Horse noticed Ron’s omission of Michigan as a proper noun.  I remember Gabby getting me to do that for a while too.  Michigan loves their Block M and it’s fun to deprive them of it.  They just ain’t worth it.  While El Caballo recognizes there’s the sentiment that a win over them means so much more when they’re not totally wanging chung (as they did in 2008), he also admits to throwing himself into the crazier side of the anti-Michigan sentiment.  Ed makes house guests wipe their feet on a Michigan jersey he got, in essence reducing that gift of a garment to a doormat to be abused and defiled.  Drew even mentioned a family member taking his young son up to Ann Arbor — who I’ve been told is a woman of negotiable affection — to urinate on Michigan Stadium.  That is a Buckeye if I’ve ever seen or heard of one.

Todd succinctly puts a ribbon on this viewpoint.  Is it irrational to hate Michigan? Nah son, it’d be irrational to not hate Michigan.  Our Honor Defend, Todd, Ron, and indeed the lot of you that embrace the enmity for what it is.

Evidently no one got my social psychology/symbolic interactionism bent, but s’alright.

#4: This is a two-parter – or a one-parter, depending on your circumstances. Or a hypothetical three-parter, I don’t know…call it open-ended. Anyway: How do you handle significant others/family/friends that AREN’T Buckeye fans? Do you just let them know upfront that there are three or four hours on Fall Saturdays that you’re just not available, or during which the TV has to be yours? Is it a deal-breaker if they don’t go along with that? Following on that, there are always going to be obligations in life that conflict with the Buckeyes – do you feed the Buckeye monkey or bite the bullet? Or are these questions moot in the age of the DVR?

The fire burns in all of us.  One thing I’ve always appreciated about Buckeyes is that their interest in Buckeye football is pathological.  It’s an obsession unlike most of what you find anywhere else.  When it comes to stuff like this, the consensus here seems to be that our significant others in our life just have to understand how important this really is to us.  Bupx3, chibucks and Drew @ TSB offer the most succinct statements of exactly this thought.  During the regular season, there’s going to be a few hours out of the day that are pre-allocated to obsessing about the Bucks.  It is what it is.  True Buckeyes understand.

Some of us seem to make it a necessary condition for the people in our lives.  If you want to be with us, you should share the same fire we have.  El Caballo’s and his ex were married on a Sunday following a game for that reason.  Ron’s wife adopted the Buckeyes as well, wanting them to win every single game.  Todd (not Boeckman) managed to convert his wife, who was a former Domer.  Keepers, all of them, on that dimension alone.  Todd’s ex-girlfriend who didn’t care if she missed the ramp entrance? Not so much.

Still others like T(nB) and Morgan @ TSF bring up the point that it’s just cruel to have a wedding during the regular season of college football.  If you want Todd at a wedding, there is a 9 month window when you can secure his services.  Outside of that: leave him alone.

So, even in the era of DVR, Buckeye fans don’t want to miss a second.  That’s what it is to be a Buckeye.

#5: What’s your policy on sporting Buckeye regalia? Do you roll loud and proud outside of Columbus and/or on non-game days?

I feel both a little embarrassed, but ultimately very proud, that my response to this question was the most ambiguous of the group.  I have a few Buckeye shirts, but sometimes go through stages where I don’t wear all of them in a week before the wash cycle because I hate being bothered by the mouthbreathing Bubbas down here.  Everyone else is at a stage that I’m gradually working towards: to just not give a fuck anymore and wear it loud.

El Caballo used his Ohio State gear as a defining mark when wandering around Washington DC.  If you want to find El Caballo, find the guy wearing the Archie Griffin jersey.  Ron’s work badge and lanyard are deliciously Buckeye-flavored.  Morgan @ TSF wears Ohio State gear whenever possible.  Chibucks has the Ohio State-themed license frame and Ed has the 8ft inflatable Brutus that makes appearances on game days.  Other fans like Ken and The Wonder Horse just aren’t shy at all about it.

Bup-cubed, T(nB) and Drew @ TSB had responses to this question that stick out.  Bupx3 says there are no exceptions to this rule: wear Ohio State gear wherever you go.  A guy that’s going to head over to Japan shortly to teach English, he assures us that he will wear his Ohio State shirts there.  Knowing the extent of Buckeye fandom, he can yell an O-H in the middle of a crowded street in Japan and likely get a few I-Os in return.  T(nB) likewise notes that all he ever wore growing up was scarlet and gray, thanks again to the aforementioned female figures in his life.  Mom even asked St. Ignatius to change their colors because of how proximate the colors are to the blue and yellow² of That Team Up North.  I think Drew highlights an important point: how serious are you about the Buckeyes? If you’re a true fan and not a bandwagoner — and let’s be frank: we are the beneficiaries of the bandwagon, the team colors are displayed frequently and indepdendent of the football season.  Per Bupx3: no exceptions.

Extra Credit: What’s your very favorite piece of Buckeye memorabilia? Or what would you like to have, if you don’t have any?

Some of us have some serious Buckeye swag, like El Caballo.  Others like me, though, have other things from our Buckeye experience that may not qualify as “Buckeye memorabilia”, but are cherished possessions nonetheless.  Ron, Drew @ TSB, The Wonder Horse and myself fit the bill here.  Ron and I both have vintage Beat Michigan pins, though Ron’s son currently has his.  The Wonder Horse doesn’t have much memorabilia outside of her collection of Brutus Buckeye stuff.  Brutus is indeed the balls.  Drew @ TSB and myself also possess newspapers from the morning after the national title in January 2003.  We may not have memorabilia in the conventional understanding of the term, but we still got some stuff that is unmistakeably Ohio State.

Those of you that do have Buckeye memorabilia have some fascinating stuff.  Ed uses his photo of he and Archie Griffin as a conversation piece when he meets younger Buckeye fans.  I’m not sure I mentioned this in my comment, but I have numerous pictures with Archie.  I got to know him well in the Fall of 2005, though if I give out how exactly I got to meet him repeatedly, I think I’ll compromise my anonymity (since it’d become painfully obvious who I am and how I got to meet him).  He’s a wonderful guy, if a very tiny guy.  One of the pictures of me and Archie hangs on my fridge.  It features a tall, lanky 6’2 college kid with shoulder-length hair and a Buckstache (that I make NO apologies for) and a guy with two Heismans.  How many Heismans do you have? That’s what I thought.  I think what I like most about the picture, aside from the fact that I look as silly as I do and it being a picture with Archie, is that I have one hand on Archie’s shoulder while the other gives a very relaxed thumbs-up to the camera.  My posture next to him is almost condescending, and it works in a kind of ironic way.

Bup B. Bup III has an autographed picture of Jim Tressel to his name, but his favorite piece of Buckeye memorabilia is the unconventional stuff that the other group of responses here (myself included) possess.  Chibucks has a Joe Germaine-autographed mini-helmet.  T(nB), who I think I’ve singled out in every answer here, has a fascinating story behind the band beret and band hat that his parents had.  The band beret went with mom when she unfortunately passed away, but the band hat remains in a prominent place in the den.  It seems like El Caballo has the most swag of anyone here.  His stash includes autographs from Mike Tomczak, Tim Spencer and Gary Williams³ as well as a hockey stick signed by the entire 1979-1980 team.

T(nB) and El Caballo’s responses obviously resonate, but Ken mentioned something that I feel has a potential to be a post by itself.  I have got to know more about this Buckeye beer.

I’m not sure any of us who don’t have real Buckeye memorabilia answered one of the other parts of El Caballo’s question: what Buckeye memorabilia do we want?  Mine is easy: autographed picture of Brian Baschnagel.  It’s no secret that this blog crowns him as a conquering hero playing in the same class as the only guy with two Heismans.  It’s no secret that I’ve been trying subtly to get his attention.  What? Don’t look at me that way.  It’s Brian f’n Baschnagel.  You don’t know me.

Thanks again for everyone who volunteered their time to answer the questions here.  It was difficult to try to summarize and categorize everything, but it was rewarding to read all your comments.  Double props to El Caballo for taking his time to ask the questions in the first place, in essence allowing us to better know him and better know each other.

1. But if you’re a Buckeye, you also cannot be in the Judean People’s Front.  Splitters. [↩]
2. It’s yellow, Michigan fans.  Get over it.  And yes, it is scarlet for us.  Ahhh, fandom. [↩]
3. Young Buckeye fans: get to know Gary Williams. [↩]