Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
I needed this.
I’ve had to endure so much shit over the past two and a half years from some insufferable locals and coworkers in Tuscaloosa that this… this is just fantastic.
And you know what? In spite of the fact that my alma mater is 0 and 3 against the Crimson Tide and that my beloved alma mater, source of pride and identity, has become a source of ridicule over the past few years, I’m not going to stop with just the thank you note.
Indeed, I’m going to unreasonable extents to get as much mileage out of this, knowing full well that this game will be swept under the rug by ESPN, CBS and the media writ large. After all, Alabama was missing its star left tackle, which totally explains Alabama’s defense getting rocked by the Utes.
Per the transitive property of college football (A > B > C > … n), Utah beat Alabama 31-17 in a glorified road game in the Sugar Bowl. Utah only beat Michigan 25-23 in Ann Arbor. Alabama finished 2nd in that ESS-EEE-CEE that I’ve heard so much about, but Michigan finished 10th in the Big Ten with only 3 wins. Ergo, is the 2nd best team in the SEC no better than the 10th best team in the Big Ten? What say you, Tommy Tuberville?
The notion is preposterous of course. In light of that, more praise should be given to Utah. Utah did worse to Alabama than Florida did (What’s this SEC speed thing I keep hearing so much about?) and finished the regular season as the only undefeated team in college football. In my vote, they’re national champions this year.
That, and they’re proof that the SEC teams can’t hang with that Salt Lake apostate school speed. The locals in the SEC need to realize that they just don’t have the speed nor the caliber of athletes to hang with the elite teams… of the Mountain West.