Our Honor Defend

It’s the most, wonderful time, of the year.  Apologies to Eddie Pola and George Wyle, but bowl games are the real reason for the season.  If I could, I’d scrap the pretense of the Bowl Championship Series and return to the greater bowl anarchy we had back in the days… and all on the same day too¹.  That, and I’d bring back the T-Formation, Wing-T and Notre Dame Box… and probably even single-platoon football.  All of this, of course, is a topic for another conversation.

Since I’m on vacay, and because all these games are on national television, I think I’ll get to watch every single bowl game.  I usually do.  The problem, though, is the prevalence of crappy teams from uninteresting conferences that occupy Week 1.  Still, each bowl game — with all its corollary corporate advertisement dross — is like a present… even if the present is like a pair of Christmas-themed socks that you would never wear otherwise.  So, what do we have to look forward to this next week, up to Saturday?

• EagleBank Bowl (Wake Forest v. Navy) [11:00AM ET, ESPN].  The EagleBank Bowl is a new addition to the bowl season with its inaugural game to be played on Saturday morning.  This game does several things right, and several things wrong.
  • First, here’s what it does right:
  • It gives both service academies (Army, Navy) a tie-in to this game, a tie-in that alternates season-by-season.  In its inaugural kickoff, Navy was the service academy tie-in in the event they were bowl eligible.  Next year, it’ll be Army… which probably means the bowl will have to go looking for someone else.
  • It gives the Big Ten a tie-in that it lost when one of the Music City Bowl was no longer interested in the conference.  As far as I know, the agreement among conferences for the bowl game is primarily an ACC v. service academy matchup, but the Big Ten enters into the conversation if there’s not enough bowl eligible ACC teams or the service academy in question is ineligible
  • It puts a bowl game in Washington DC.  In a time when so many inappropriate places jockey for a bowl *cough*Boise*cough*, a predicament made more absurd by the cost of transportation and the tanking economy *cough*Boise*cough*, a bowl game in the nation’s capital is both economically prudent and unmistakeably American.  Now, if we can go about resurrecting the Gotham Bowl…
  • Buuuut…
  • It’s a repeat matchup.  I love bowl games and I wish to turn back the clock on the college football offseason, even if it means having the UPI wire in its pick for national champions before the bowl game is even played because even that is less absurd than the BCS.  But, repeat matchups are the bane of the system because of the disingenuity inherent in Round 2².  In this specific context, Navy derailed Wake Forest’s train earlier in this season in Winston-Salem, thus souring national perception of what was expected to be an ACC Championship-caliber team.  Turnovers were the story that game as Riley Skinner had 4 INTs.  You can spin it as “Wake Forest looking for payback”, but it’s just not that interesting.
  • Corporate sponsorship has sullied what is otherwise a triumphant move for college football into Washington DC.  When it was first conceptualized, it was originally supposed to be called the Congressional Bowl.  This is an awesome choice.  However, once EagleBank wanted to get involved, it rechristened the bowl in its own honor.  This is most definitely not an awesome choice.  Again, the same guy writing this post is the same guy who wants the damned Gotham Bowl back.  With very few exceptions (see: Bacardi Bowl), corporate sponsorships screw things up… and I’m definitely looking in your direction, Capital One.
  • I’m not sure Navy has assured college football fans everywhere that it won’t wear those monstrosities it whipped out for the Army-Navy game earlier this month.  Sweet Jesus those were ugly uniforms worn by both sides.

• New Mexico Bowl (Colorado State v. Fresno State) [2:30PM ET, ESPN].  Fresno State’s punishment “reward” for falling short well short of its preseason BCS aims is a trip to New Mexico to play in the New Mexico Bowl.  The bowl game is fielding just its 3rd ever installment in 2008 and, yes, the first one without the University of New Mexico playing.  For those unaware, the bowl game is played on site at the University of New Mexico, giving the Lobos something of an unfair advantage.  In lieu of the Lobos, the Colorado State Rams will be representing the Mountain West.  The Rams are a screwy team, having almost beaten Brigham Young and having almost lost to San Diego State in the sam season.  Interest factor in this game is about a 4 on a scale of 10 with high values corresponding to high user interest.  The biggest interest comes in the bowl game being in New Mexico. New Mexico is a state that you almost forget is part of the continental United States until you’re presented with a visual reminder.  Such was my drives through Albuquerque en route from Los Angeles to Columbus, Ohio for school way back in the day.
• magicJack Saint Petersburg Bowl (Memphis v. USF) [4:30PM ET, ESPN2].  Corporate sponsorship of bowl games fails because it often times does not intuitively correspond with the location or theme of the bowl game itself.  The Sheraton Hawaii Bowl and Tostitos Fiesta Bowl are exemplars of intuitive corporate sponsorship.  Corporate sponsorship of bowl games fails disastrously when, on top of the previous point, no one knows what the hell the corporation in question is.  This is the magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl.  I had to look it up, but magicJack is an internet telephony service.  Given that this bowl game is an inaugural matchup and given the reviews of the corporate enterprise itself, I don’t see this sponsorship deal lasting any more than a year or two.  For what it’s worth, USF’s punishment reward for failing to win the Big East like it was expected to do is a trip across the street to host its own bowl game.  This will become fair precisely when there becomes such a thing as the Buckeye Bowl in Columbus, Ohio.  I’m waiting.
• Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl (Brigham Young v. Arizona) [8:00PM ET, ESPN].  The Mormons are rounding up their Postum and their name tags, hopping on their bicycles and trippin’ over to Las Vegas to spread the word of Heavenly Father and play a Pac-10 team in the Las Vegas Bowl for the 4th consecutive year.  It’s no doubt a disappointment for a team with visions of Sugar dancing in their head earlier this season.  On the flip side, it is no doubt a reward for Mike Stoops’ ‘Cats, making their first bowl appearance under his tutelage, and the first in the program since 1998.  Consequently, a lot of analysts are speculating that this might be the first upset of the bowl season.  Until that point is clear, there’s things we know right now.
  • First, the high in Las Vegas is expected to be in the mid-40s.  Yes, mid-40s.  The area has been blanketed by snow in the past day.
  • Second, David Hasselhoff will be singing the national anthem.  Yes, the ‘Hoff.  Singing the national anthem.  Click that link, I dare you.  Apparently his daughter attends U of A, and hence the relationship between the bowl participants.
  • Third, I’m going to be reciting lines from Orgazmo all the while watching this game.  You won’t be around me as I do this.  You won’t be able to hear me do it, nor will you be able to stop me.  Rest assured, though, it will happen.  Anything involving Mormons is going to trigger that movie playing in my head.

1. Remember when January 1st was like a bowl orgy? It was like the first two rounds of the NCAA hoops tournament [↩]
2. …and it’s not a problem that a playoff system would fix.  If anything, it might make it more disingenuous. [↩]