Our Honor Defend

Not Pictured: Minnesota and Wisconsin. The former needs to not be losers of 4 straight and the latter needs to not be 3 missed XPs away from losing to Cal Poly.

The Big Ten teams in the bowl matchups are as tough as can be and the conference teams will not be wanting for challenges from top to bottom.  At the top, the standard bearer for the 2008 season draws the mighty Trojans in the Rose Bowl, who have not lost to a Big Ten team since losing to Penn State in 1996.  I might be the only one among the Buckeye fan base that thinks Penn State has a chance, because what USC did to Ohio State up front they should not — in all reason — be able to do to Penn State’s defensive front.  That, and a very shitty game from our offensive line, was what doomed the Buckeyes earlier this season.  This is not to say that USC’s defensive line won’t raise hell on Daryll Clark, who is very liable of repeating his Iowa game performance in the Rose Bowl.  Rather, to assume USC will run over a Penn State team who is usually reliable in bowl games (only lost 2 of 11 games since joining the Big Ten) because of the nature of both victories over the Buckeyes is misguided.  After all, Penn State annihilated that Oregon State team I’ve heard so much about…

At the bottom, the 7-5 Badgers — winners of 3 conference games — face an 8-4 Florida State team in the Champs Sports Bowl.  Basically, the 6th ranked Big Ten team, one of the few and proud to drop a decision to Michigan this season, draws what is probably the 4th best ACC team, depending on your outlook.  Whatever the perceived disparity between both programs, this matchup ultimately pits a team that was a loss away from playing for the ACC title against a team that started 1-5 in Big Ten play.  For all intents and purposes, it’s in the same spirit of last year’s Champ Sports Bowl that pit the losers of the ACC title game against the 9th ranked Big Ten team.  Both Michigan State and Wisconsin were 3-5 in Big Ten play in their respective seasons.

Sandwiched in between both games are 5 tough matches for the Big Ten teams.  The only two games that instinctively pop out to me as an intriguing, even matchup on paper is Iowa-South Carolina in the Outback Bowl screw you corporate sponsorship it’s the Hall of Fame Bowl and Minnesota-Kansas in the Insight Bowl.  Minnesota, losers of 4 straight and one of the few and proud to lose to Michigan, draw a Kansas team that lost 4 of their last 6… and almost 5 of their last 6… to finish the season.  Iowa, 8-4 and 5th in the Big Ten, travels to Tampa to play an offensively inept South Carolina team, also 5th in conference.

The final 3 Big Ten bowl games:

• Michigan State v. Georgia. Capital One Bowl It’s the f’n Citrus Bowl dammit.  A battle of conference 3 seeds, and while Georgia may be ridiculously overrated, Michigan State’s capacity to be torn to shreds this season against good teams doesn’t bode well.  Of course, Georgia has the same problem.  God willing, bowl preparations will help Sparty out entering this game.  Failing that, Georgia is at least expected to bully the Spartans with pitch runs for Moreno as they were able to do against most of the shitty teams they played this season.  I think Georgia has 3 pass plays in their entire offense (screen to Knowshon, quick slants and 20yd post routes).  Their offense makes the 2008 Buckeye offense look exotic and innovative.
• Northwestern v. Missouri. Alamo Bowl.  I like Northwestern; I really do.  It’s hard to hate them.  If we’re Nelson Muntz and they’re Martin Prince, I’d willing form an alliance with them and call it Team Discovery Channel.  They’re nerds, but they’re our nerds.  Still, they, a surprising 9-3 team draw the Big 12 North champions in San Antonio.  It’s a battle of conference 4 seeds, but it just doesn’t seem that way when you eyeball the teams up and down.  Not helping Northwestern’s case for respect is, like Michigan State (and Ohio State, sadly), their penchant to get torn apart by good teams.  They’re 37-20 losers to Michigan State and 35pt victims to Ohio State.  They are also one of the few and proud the only Big Ten team to lose to Indiana this season.
• Ohio State v. Texas. Fiesta Bowl.  The Buckeyes return to Arizona, the state itself very quickly becoming a winter resort for Ohio residents.  Part of me wants to scream because A) I’ll be on a Goddamned plane flying back to Alabama for all of this game and B) the Buckeyes have won 5 Big Ten titles under Jim Tressel and have been to exactly 0 Rose Bowls.  Still, the Buckeyes will not be without a test this game as Texas, arguably the best team in the country, will try to lower the Booooom, mothafuckaaaas.  Knock these muthafuckas out! on Ohio State’s offense.  It’s a matchup of, if we humor ourselves, conference 2 seeds, but Ohio State’s offensive line leaves a lot to be desired entering this game.  I’m more than willing to eat my words, and I’ll make sure to provide myself a fancy fork in order to do so, but any speculation of the Buckeyes as severe underdogs entering this game is more than justified.  Vegas has the Buckeyes as 8pt dogs to Texas for the interim.

The Big Ten, at least on paper, may not be favored in a single bowl games this bowl season, though I think the matchups work well for the case of Minnesota and Iowa.  But you know what? Fuck it.  Fuck the world.  It’s not like the perception of football in the Midwest could get any worse.