Meet Taylor Zarzour…

Posted by Gabby in Buckeye Football |

…because this guy thinks that Ohio State is the 13th best team in the country.

As a native of Mobile, Alabama, it only makes sense that Taylor Zarzour grew up an avid fan of the Crimson Tide. It even makes some sense that he grew up a fan of the Miami Dolphins…geographically speaking, they’re not that far from Mobile. But what makes no sense at all is how he grew up spending the months of April through October obsessing over the Boston Red Sox.

After meeting him, you might want to look at Doug Segrest.  He voted the Buckeyes 11th.

What do these two have in common? They’re both Alabamalamers (I’ve been down here for years now and I have no idea what the people are called.  I just call them mouthbreathers and leave it at that), both from south Alabama (read: Mississippi overflow).  Segrest even writes for the Birmingham News, which makes the Columbus Dispatch look like the New York Times.

Before everyone flips out, I think I was pleasantly surprised after reading where they were ranked, since most locals down here would have this as their top 25:

  1. Georgia
  2. Florida
  3. LSU
  4. Auburn
  5. Tennessee
  6. Alabama
  7. South Carolina
  8. Arkansas
  9. Mississippi State
  10. Tim Tebow, all by his-fucking-self
  11. Kentucky
  12. Ole Miss
  13. Vanderbilt
  14. The SEC coaches, if they all suited and up played
  15. The all-SEC Redshirt Team
  16. The all-SEC Wives Team
  17. The zombie corpse of Bear Bryant
  18. The all-SEC Fulmer Cup Team
  19. The SEC Mascots
  20. Georgia’s second stringers
  21. Florida’s second stringers
  22. The all-SEC Busted ACL Team
  23. Georgia again
  24. Florida again
  25. Some local workers at a nearby Piggly Wiggly or Cracker Barrel

Of course, all 4 or 5 of our readers can make the situation here that much more liveable if they moved down here.  You know, we could take over the place… perhaps burn it down for the insurance money… but whatever, fine, leave us down here.

 

Written by: Gabby Jay | full bio

Our Honor Defend is just another unofficial blog about the Buckeyes of The Ohio State University.

 

5 Responses to “Meet Taylor Zarzour…”

  1. 1 Vico

    I’ll keep saying this until I’m blue in the mouth: this issue bores me. Wake me when we’re setting this place on fire… or, hopefully, when we’re no. 1 in the final AP poll. Both would be nice; either one will do.

  2. 2 Poe McKnoe

    I thought that high school football team from MTV’s “Two-a-days” would at least get a nod.

  3. 3 Stefanik

    Hilarious!

  4. 4 mdr

    Dude, that is ridiculous and as a Southerner, I am insulted. Everyone knows that the Zombie Corpse of Bear Bryant (heretofore referred to as the ZCoBB), could kick the shit out of Vandy and Kentucky.

    However, that Fulmer Cup team might be pretty stout. I’d watch out for those boys.

  5. 5 Faulkner

    It’s tools like Zarzour that make it even more important to have a palyoff. Voters with no clue can ruin a deserving teams chances. At least he had the Dawgs on top.

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