As a native of Mobile, Alabama, it only makes sense that Taylor Zarzour grew up an avid fan of the Crimson Tide. It even makes some sense that he grew up a fan of the Miami Dolphins…geographically speaking, they’re not that far from Mobile. But what makes no sense at all is how he grew up spending the months of April through October obsessing over the Boston Red Sox.
After meeting him, you might want to look at Doug Segrest. He voted the Buckeyes 11th.
What do these two have in common? They’re both Alabamalamers (I’ve been down here for years now and I have no idea what the people are called. I just call them mouthbreathers and leave it at that), both from south Alabama (read: Mississippi overflow). Segrest even writes for the Birmingham News, which makes the Columbus Dispatch look like the New York Times.
Before everyone flips out, I think I was pleasantly surprised after reading where they were ranked, since most locals down here would have this as their top 25:
- South Carolina
- Mississippi State
- Tim Tebow, all by his-fucking-self
- Ole Miss
- The SEC coaches, if they all suited and up played
- The all-SEC Redshirt Team
- The all-SEC Wives Team
- The zombie corpse of Bear Bryant
- The all-SEC Fulmer Cup Team
- The SEC Mascots
- Georgia’s second stringers
- Florida’s second stringers
- The all-SEC Busted ACL Team
- Georgia again
- Florida again
- Some local workers at a nearby Piggly Wiggly or Cracker Barrel
Of course, all 4 or 5 of our readers can make the situation here that much more liveable if they moved down here. You know, we could take over the place… perhaps burn it down for the insurance money… but whatever, fine, leave us down here.