Our Honor Defend

Bucknuts released its usual Bucket of Bullets on Sunday, including, among other things, a comparison of Eliot Spitzer and Antonio Henton’s respective predicaments, the odd recruitment of Lil’ Romeo to a high(er) profile basketball program like USC, and the tale of Coldwater area football. However, the real eye-opener from the read was former Michigan star linebacker and Massillon (OH) product Shawn Crable apparently admitting to being a car thief in his more formative years during a radio interview on Bucknuts Radio Hour with Jerry Rudzinski and Mr. Bucknuts¹.

Of course, what follows is paraphrased and not exact quotes. Hmm… someone should fix that. Anyways:

Here is the interview as I can still picture it:

Mr. Bucknuts: “Shawn, now that you are a big time player in Massillon, how do you conduct yourself to be a role model to the younger players?”

Crable (insert your own imaginative vernacular/accent/idiom here): “Well, Mr. Bucknuts. When I was younger and – say – would steal a car. It didn’t mean much ‘cause I was a nobody. But now, it would be a bad example to the other kids”.

Mr. Bucknuts: “You saying here on the radio that you used to steal cars but now you’ve stopped?”

At this point, Jerry Rudzinski is giving me the throat-slashing sign and telling me to get him off the air.

Awesome. Just… awesome.That said, I would have to hear it to believe it completely so I can hear Crable’s exact words and decipher the manner in which he said it. Of course, I have no reason to think Bucknuts would fib about something so odd. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say I have to hear it just to enjoy it and all its creamy goodness. Any of you Bucknuts higher-ups out there that have this on file and read this junk heap of a blog², please do Buckeye Nation a favor and let us regular Joes hear his admission.

Of course, there’s some other neat things in that same section on Crable, such as immediately following the car thief admission:

Jerry: “So, Shawn. You got a chance to meet Coach Tressel. How did that go?”

Crable: “Yeah, I did. Man, that dude’s short!”

Bucknuts also recalls Crable’s voice message, before setting up said radio interview:

Which brings up another Bucknuts Radio Hour story. I interviewed Crable his senior year in high school, along with radio partner Jerry Rudzinski. I knew I was in for a treat after the first twenty calls to his cell phone to get the time straight. His voice message was: “Crabesherehollaatyoboy”. Loosely translated, that meant: “Shawn Crable’s phone. Please leave a message”.

And, for anybody not interested in schadenfreude, Bucknuts also has an interesting tidbit on the recruitment of the Massillon prep star to Ohio State and his corollary recruitment to Michigan:

Five years or so ago, I was speaking with a member of the Ohio State staff that was responsible for northern Ohio recruiting. I asked him (as off-handedly as a pointed question can be asked): “Who was your greatest surprise when he didn’t commit to the Buckeyes?”. He said, “Without question – Shawn Crable”.

He then told the story of Shawn’s recruiting, a Massillon kid who was odds-on to be a Buckeye. The OSU coaches took a calculated risk that when he came for his official visit, they paired him up with other “city kids” who had turned themselves around and were solid citizens – trying to show what you could make of yourself with some application. When Shawn subsequently visited Michigan – the staff there went the other direction and paired him with the “gangstas” – to show that he already fit in.

Shawn chose to hang with those Wolverines.

As the coach at OSU then ruefully related, “Well, I guess that meant he made the best choice for him – and the right choice for us!”

Still, none of this gets to the bigger issue of me absolutely craving to hear Crable admit to being a car thief in his youth. Somebody should fix that.

Oh, and yes, Michigan fans, I know about Maurice Clarett and his tomfoolery. We all do. I’m also sure Crable has turned himself around in important aspects to become a law-abiding citizen, or at least I would have no reason to think otherwise. But that’s boring. I want to hear more about Crable’s car thievery.

1. Bucknuts doesn’t use web anchors on their longer pages, so just scroll down near the bottom to read. [↩]
2. There’s at least one Bucknuts higher up that reads this. That I know [↩]