Our Honor Defend

Ohio State football is sorta famous on the internets for a variety of reasons, and many of them are not particularly flattering. EDSBS reminds us of Woody Hayes’ commercials he used to do for ex-players. God knows M Zone has enjoyed a few chuckles from the worst of the Buckeyes, such as, but certainly not limited to, our Buckeye ladies rocking the poodle hair in the 1980s. This is, of course, the most limited search. And yet, I find it hard to believe that the internets writ large can find so much humour at the most cringeworthy elements of Ohio State fandom and miss this gem.

Understanding this requires a trip back in time. The year was 1980. Jimmy Carter still called the shots in Washington and, most importantly, Earle Bruce had just begun his tenure in charge of the Buckeyes. Indeed, with two-sport superman and social pariah Art Schlichter at QB, Bruce led the Bucks to an undefeated regular season in his first year and narrowly missed the national title¹. Nonetheless, this was a significant improvement from the past year, and was cause for jubilation in Ohio.

Enter Dave Murphy and the Irish Brigade. Enter their song to celebrate the 11-1 season, to the tune of the old number “Proud to Be An Okie from Muskogee”. Enter “I’m Proud to Be a Buckeye from Ohio”.

I’m proud to be a Buckeye from Ohio;
Football in Columbus is the best;
Ohio State’s the team that we all cheer for;
On to victory and to hell with all the rest.

We love to think how great we were with Woody;
On or off the field we beat them all;
We’d grind it out in the year we scored that touchdown;
And you knew the fullback always had the ball;
(three yards and a cloud of dust)
Now Woody’s gone but are things really different;
Earle Bruce wins games without a care;
We’ll beat that Big Ten like we did with Woody;
But now we’re gonna to do it in the end.

I’m proud to be a Buckeye from Ohio;
Football in Columbus is the best;
Ohio State’s the team that we all cheer for;
On to victory and to hell with all the rest.

Now, we don’t like Schembechler in Ohio;
Chewing gum and burping he’s a gem;
So come on folks let’s keep Ohio clean now;
You all go dump your trash in Michigan.

I’m proud to be a Buckeye from Ohio;
Football in Columbus is the best;
Ohio State’s the team that we all cheer for;
On to victory and to hell with all the rest.

Now all you folks who call your selves the Buckeyes;
Whose heart pumps blood of Scarlet and Gray;
Let’s show the football world you got the spirit;
If you love the Buckeyes stand and shout hooray!
(Hooray!)

I’m proud to be a Buckeye from Ohio;
Football in Columbus is the best;
Ohio State’s the team that we all cheer for;
On to victory and to hell with all the rest.
On to victory and to hell with all the rest!

Why others have not picked up on this song is beyond me.

• The chorus alone is worth its weight in gold. It’s impossible to hear this song and not think that the guy shouting along in the background is Will Ferrell, and that this is just the audio for some SNL skit. Where else are you going to hear a guy shouting the upcoming lyrics offkey in the background, basically being the audio version of the bouncing ball in your kids’ Disney singalong video cassettes?
• The tone deaf woman doing background vocals is pleasant too.
• I’m no Latin expert, but I’m pretty certain that “On to victory and to hell with all the rest!” is the English translation of our University’s motto (Disciplina in civitatem). If it’s not, it should be.
• Any song that harkens back to a simpler time, when you always knew the fullback had the ball, is fine by me. Ah, Pete Johnson. Three yards and a cloud of dust was not just a method for college football teams; it was a way of life. For a simpler time. When you would take little Billy to the fishin’ hole on those lazy summer afternoons, or cling to that favourite sweater on a cold autumn night with the sounds of Christopher Cross ringing in your head
• The outright slander of Bo Schembechler’s etiquette is a song itself. Sell out Ohio for Michigan and punk us out of the 1969 national championship, will you. Well we’ll just insinuate you have bad manners. How do you like them apples? And we’ll instruct our civilized Ohioans to offload their trash north of the border. That’ll learn them Michiganders that they ain’t so classy now.
• No truly hideous song is complete without a command within the song to react in a specified manner, just like “If you’re happy and you know it”. Hooray! (Hooray!).

We do think that Buckeyes need more songs in their repertoire to sing, since variety among the staples we have (Buckeye Battle Cry, Hang On Sloopy, Across the Field, et al) is always good. I’m not against throwing this song in the mix, and if we do, I don’t want word one changed. This song is timeless.

I’d be interested to know if any Buckeyes out there reading this junk heap were around Columbus by time this song was out. I have to know how big of a sensation it was locally.

1. sigh… Charles White… [↩]